What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Say something about gay babies.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
