Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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