just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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