theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
