There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
