That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
