I faked an abortion last night.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
