Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
