i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
