You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
