Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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