Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
