I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
