what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
