Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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