I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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