thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
