Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
