if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
