She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
