Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
