I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
