Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
