something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
