i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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