What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
