try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
