...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do vagina's smell?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
