what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
