My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she told me i tasted like america
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
