Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
