just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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