they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
