Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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