While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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