All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
