SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
