in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
