think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
