Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
