Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
