I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
