My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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