this boner is exhausting
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
