i may or may not be watching the land before time
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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