When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I am one with the molecules
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
