I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
