those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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