How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i think i have two assholes
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
