do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
